I recently went to my psychiatrist and he diagnosed me with unipolar depression and adhd (type 5 limbic) and I am currently not taking any medication because my parents do not wish for me to do so, I am 17. But recently I've been think a long way back and was wondering if I had any mixed bipolar symptoms.
When I was a child I was constantly forgetful as I am today, but I would have little tantrums where I would cry destroy some stuff, stab people with pencils over little things (but I believe is was the build up of all the little things I just needed one to set me off). Two times in my life it has been bad and I ended up crying in a ball and my throat would close up and I would have to go to the ER. however I think that these things came in cycles because I've had really good years and really ad years. During fifth grade my grades plummeted and I couldn't pay attention to anything first suicidal thoughts. 6-7th grade I was relatively happy yet I always talked about suicide and clinical depression but only jokingly (haha irony). 8th grade I was very depressed wanting to take my bike across blind intersections. Freshman year, I was F!@#ing ecstatic, I would go around and give everyone hugs and I made a lot of friends and stuff, I would always raise my hand in class, I took college level classes and passed them, I used to wear candy canes off my glasses and other weird and what some called "eccentric" things. 10th grade is when my insomnia really kicked in, I just couldn't sleep for 2-3 days and still can't sleep up to this day. I remember not being able to go to sleep on time before, but this is really bad. Now in 11th grade the depression is just bad, I had to drop classes and am currently failing a couple of them. I cannot focus on anything, except things that REALLY interest me. most recently though I have been having hallucinations/vivid dreams? (not sure if I'm asleep or awake) I hear myself just laughing maniacally and my mouth is wide open, I feel like my soul is leaving my body and I get flashes of the devil in my vision. however this has not been repeated since. even though I can't go to sleep I can't wake up/get out of bed. I have an extremely short fuse and get angry at people trying to help me I can't stand the words "thank you." I'm probably forgetting something but I also ride motorcycles and partake in masturbation, I am kind of a loner but I do have friends.
Oh yeah and I had this kinda weird thing recently where I enrolled in a local community college and was going to drop out of high school, I did it in one day, then the next week I called it off, so i guess you can say I'm impulsive.
Bipolar or Unipolar depression?
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