Firstly, a bit about my friend... I'm sorry this is long, I'll try to be as clear as I can!
He's in his early 30's, and I've known him since I was 17 and he was 25. I'm female.
Even back then, I suspected it was "manic" or bi-polar, because he could be very cheerful (especially when he was helping others), or very very low and apathetic.
He's a lovely, kind, generous and highly sensitive man.
even in a happy mood, he's prone to strong emotions. he wells up at allsorts of stuff, even cartoons like the Simpsons when emotional stuff happens.
It gets embarrassing in Cinemas an Pubs etc. though I'd never let on to him that not even little girls are as delicate as he is!
He pursues a hobby in stage acting, and he once desired it as a career. He's good enough.
but he works out of the public eye in a responsible, but quite simple warehouse job. He's been there for 12 years and the company has JUST been saved. that caused him a lot of anxiety and stress because his family all work there too!
He says he "can't cope" with other jobs, and tends to end up a nervous wreck. he does the same thing most days.
When his future looked uncertain recently, he decided to enroll on a total beginners computer class to start in January.
I even helped him type a CV on my PC, and set him up an e-mail he could use from his brother's place. he went away feeling more positive, but all through the "lesson" he was sort of quivering and getting a bit overwhelmed. We had to watch some DVD's and Youtube to break up the lesson.
He's a good driver, but because of this panic it took him 12 years, on and off, to pass his test.
Once, a few years back, I sent him a text saying "Getting married tomorrow" (This was an in-joke about acting), and he said
"Committing suicide tomorrow" and at the time, he really meant it.
Back then, I left a rather bossy (but loving) message on his answerphone, because I couldn't get hold of him. I was terrified, but I used a lighthearted (ish) tone and tried to be Ironic.
"if you've killed yourself, I'll say rude things about you at your funeral and you won't be able to defend yourself." etc.
He tells me when he got the message (after a night of Dr Who videos to cheer himself up) he laughed!
When he did have a relationship, the Woman was abusive and walked all over him.
Other female friends he makes are not girlfriends, but he dotes on them like the worlds best husband. They tend to be nice, but can be ungrateful for things he does.
Last night, he wasn't quite suicidal, but I knew something was wrong when he told me he'd gone off Dr Who. that really is serious.
it's a lifelong , passion he shareds with his brother, and his 9 year old nephew. those three live for the show, and My Friend and his Nephew are best pals.
He can't do anything right now. He's crying and sobbing, and bored and all those things that go with depression. Clinical or Temporary. I've done a fair bit of research, his symptoms are textbook.
I've only been through that low once. it was just for about 9 months, and it was defiantly only because of a heartbreak. but I can now appreciate that "Pull yourself together" doesn't work.
My family had to drag me out, in my scruffy clothes and blank expression, to be entertained by all the things I normally love. now I can actually recall all the "highlights" of those days and none of the lows.
Without knowledge of his diagnosis, or his meds, I couldn't advise him too much, but he really needed to speak to me last night.
So...apart from the kinder, more soothing things I said for about an hour, I had to think of a "buck up" end to the conversation, because I'd finally got his breathing back to normal from all the crying.
1) no, Computing is not "too Much" for you, don't be daft. That's your brain talking, it's depressed. anyone can use a computer and you aren't thick. if you don't do this course you'll regret it next time your mood improves!
2) this is JUST chemical. It's an illness. it can be beaten, and you always, ALWAYS come up the other side of this low.
You haven't lost your job, your family loves you, your best friend may have moved to the South (He was devoted to her,) but if you learn and e-mail her you can keep in touch!
She's still there, a few clicks away.
3) I don't care if you "can't be bothered to do anything", make yourself useful.
Turn the radio on, (WHY don't you listen to music anymore?!!!, music has great power to cheer you up!) and suck a boiled sweet. Find lots of housework, your Mum'll be pleased when she gets home!
You can't cry and suck at the same time, and which one is more enjoyable?
His doctor has never explained the connection between inactivity and depression, exercise and endorphins, daylight and SAD (in Winter).
I don't know what to do when he asks me for advice/help.
I've avoided him tonight because I don't want a gloomy New Years.
What can I say next time he phones and his councilor is on Hol
sounds like hes a bit messed up wit depression. my uncle was like tht for a while nd sometimes still is but we just get him out of the house nd away from any thoughts tht may trigger upsetting him. its helps. my friends do it to me everytime im clinically depressed. umm yuh could just tell him everything will be ok nd try inviting him to go out somewhere. it might help him. other then tht tho there rele isnt much yuh can do or say. he needs to tlk to his councler.
Friend with depression, Did I do the right thing?
Posted in 
