Please can somebody help me with a diagnosis and treatment suggestions?

1st, i know that its really not possible to give accurate diagnosis here, and without knowing me. But, i'm permenantly stuck on a waiting list, and im not getting any help at all. this has been going on since April, and i desperately desperately need help. Im thinking of looking privately, but i have no energy, and would like to go to someone who specialises in whatever it is that is my problem, so i need some idea about what it is. Also, if any of you know anywhere specific to get the treatment for whatever (i dont mean medication, more like some kind of therapy) in the UK, around London, id really appreciate it.

So basically, i think i have either depression, some kind of manic depression that is not too manic, or borderline personality disorder.

my symptoms are:
* depression. really really bad depression. sometimes i cant get out of bed for weeks, or move, or cry for hours on end
* permenantly irregular sleeping pattern
* constant suicidal thoughts and plans
* extremely low self beleif and sense of self worth
* depression can last for weeks or months, or sometimes just days or hours. but i feel like a totally different person when i am depressed and when im not. its like something just snaps, and then i view the world in a totally different way, its not often a gradual thing between the two, and the two sides are pretty polarised. sometimes this can happen 3 or 4 times in a day, which is really exhausting. at other times one mood will stay for weeks.
* however, it is reactionary at times. a lot of the time if im around other people i feel ok and happy, but when im alone i get really depressed. not always, but that is the general trend.
* i do things without thinking, get really angry about a situation that i cant change, then feel terrible about the result, and doing and saying things without thinking about the consequences, which has made me in trouble with the police too now, as well as the person hating me, a lot. i cant seem to find a balance and either hate myself totally or get really angry at them and think im ok. but they have never allowed me any understanding of the situation, so maybe that is why.
* when im happy, people have commented that i seem a caffeinated or something, though this was mainly since i started taking antidepressents. without antidepressents i am depressed most of the time. can antidepressents cause this caffeinatedness or is it something thats happened to me?
* i mess up a lot of chances by not thinking and gambling stupidly, and going generally totally nuts when i drink (which is worse on medication), being overconfident or not confident enough. i used to do drugs but stopped when the comedowns got too bad.
* i dont know who i am at all, i keep changing and nothing about how i perceive the world or myself stays solid and i hate it.
* ive been prone to depression for a lot of years, but the last two years things have just come to the point where i cannot live or cope with it any more.

the medication i was on for depression is amitriptyline, i havent gone back on it since i tried to commit suicide by overdosing in october, but i seriously need help as i am incredibly depressed and in trouble and my lifes all fallen apart, and i cant stand anything about myself.

i hope someone can give me some idea of what i have and what kind of therapy specifically might be helpful to my problems... thanks.

could be manic depression -otherwise known as bi-polar disorder. Or could be depression alone. I have depression and anxiery, I still get highs, I still can feel like I am buzzing, but I do not have bi-polar, hjave met and know people with bi-polar, I know what it is like, and my psychiatrist has also treated and met people with bi-polar, I and she know I have depression/anxiety, not bi-polar. But your symptoms do point that way (wreakless self harming behaviour). But as you said, it happens when you take medication, it could be solely a reaction to the medication you are taking. if so, you will need to find something that works better for you.

You really need to see a doctor for a referal about this, there is alot of help out there, you only have to ask for it.

Also, if you feel your medication is not working, you will need to alter that, either up the dose, change the pills you take or reduce and withdraw, whatever you decide- do NOT do anything without some concrete medical advice

I live in the US, however, have you tried to get in with your Family Practitioner? Typically, this person can give a referral to another professional who will see you on a speedy basis. Best Wishes!

Edit: I would suggest calling back your GP and letting him know that the RX that was prescribed to you doesn't seem to be working. Psychotropic medications can take up to 6+ weeks to work up to a therapeutic level in your blood. now, you were admitted into an inpatient program and discharged yourself from what I can understand. perhaps, try going back to that place if you can. You need to be more persistent with these people who are putting you on waiting lists etc.

I really feel bad for you, your symptoms sound quite severe. I think you probably have bipolar disorder, which is depression plus mania (i.e. episodes when you would do things recklessly, feel on top of the world, talks/thinks really fast, have decreased need for sleep, poor concentration). You may even have cyclothymia (mild but constant depression). You absolutely need to see a doctor/ go to the emergency department ASAP when you're suicidal (and they'll probably keep you at the hospital for treatment). There are several medicaitons you can use for bipolar disorder, the most common one being lithium. There are also some cognitive-behavioral therapy you can practice to correct your negative thinking. Good luck and I hope you get the help you need soon!

sounds like bipolar or a hormonal imbalance...this is really affecting your life...you need to see a psychiatrist!!...you can't live your life like this...wanting to harm yourself is a serious chemical imbalance

Hi,

It sounds like you may need a bit more knowledge on the subject of Depression than you currently possess. the world is full of myths and theories, and Depression is far more common than people realise with around one-in-seven suffering from it. With the right knowledge, most people can live with, and manage depression. for example, many of the genius's in the world are manic depressives, such as Stephen Fry and Winston Churchill. I, too, have manic depression, although I wouldn't swop it for the world, because the 90% of the time I'm on a high (much higher than average people - the manic phase) it compensates for the 10% of the time I go really low (the depression stage). Surveys have shown that most manic depressives would hate to get rid of it for this reason.

I am ALSO a 60-year old Producer of DVDs, and last year I produced a DVD presented by a Consultant Psychiatrist called "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Depression" because he recognised the limited amount of proper information out there in the world and a whole stack of myths. he wanted to clear up the myths and he does so in clear no-jargon language for everyday people. It's a pretty good DVD. You can watch a 3-minute preview at http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce1viJ7zqC… and if interested, you can purchase it from either www.timetrappers.com or www.uniview.co.uk

Hope this helps
J

Please can somebody help me with a diagnosis and treatment suggestions?

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