PLEASE FREAKING HELP ME!!!!!!!?

ok so 1st forgive my spelling i never get it right so i spell it away everyone knows wtf i mean...
Alright i have been diagnosed "Bipolar skitzo-franic" (which as i am told is.. manic depression,skitzofranania, anxiety disorder). i was prescribed zyprexa years ago but let it take over my life and when it fell apart subsequently axed the little daemon and am now on xanax think year now..
forgive my blabbering but you need full story right? i dont constantly take my meds! (my bad) but i dont want to be imprisoned by these drugs forever! so i usually just take them when i.
a.Cant sleep due to my spiraling thoughts of emptyness!, and distant voices/noices.
b.My anxiety.. when i have a random or panic induced anxiety attack i take one or half or whatever i think will not put me out of action (work, father duties etc) but enough to make my body comfortable to be in. (if you can even half understand)
c.just cant sleep.. worked up, excited,mad etc
d.couple nights not sleeping properly etc.

anyway as you can see i just man up take it on the chin till i am that worn out that i just want a goods nights sleep with out the assosiated dramas of my condition.

ALL that being said MY PROBLEM IS!
i took my xanax in the normal usual way and "recommended" dose, which usually makes me look like a zombie till my mrs all but drags me to bed! had an adverse effect!!
instead of helping me get to bed in turn i spent 5 to 6 hours sorting out stuff in my under house/basement thing!!! :@
on that note!
a different night i could not find my xanax had a endone (in date, 5mg prescribed to a mate that stayed here for back pain had left them here) basically its morphine 7.5mg... (not stupid i check! i like to keep my life thanks! im bipolar not suicidal). and same thing!
took tab bout 9-10 ish usually zobie on the lounge till bout 12 go to bed BUT... this time i bounced off the walls till fkn 6am!! and this happened before with mersendole. absolutely WIRED.

PLEASE FREAKING HELP ME!

You ned to take your meds the right way and everyday. if they make you feel imprisoned or like a zombie and don't want to do things, talk to your doctor. See if the doc can change some things around. maybe he has you on too much. I take Zoloft for anxiety. it works fine. My dad takes depakote for schizophrenic. he also takes Geodon, not sure what that's for. Skipping doses is very bad and sometimes turns out worse than your illness alone.

PLEASE FREAKING HELP ME!!!!!!!?

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